i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Success! We fucked roommates!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
