I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize