At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
