Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
