he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
