I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
