She said her name was "party"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
