your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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