Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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