wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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