I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
