did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
