This is not my ceiling
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
