I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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