My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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