last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
