just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
