Its about making memories worth repressing
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
