there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm passing your future prison.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
