he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I lost the right to judge tonight
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
