Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
