The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
