sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
sex in a hospital.. check
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
