After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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