Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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