he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
