we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
