so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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