Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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