Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
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