So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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