And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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