last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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