I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
