It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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