I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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