no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
