we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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