I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
