The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
