yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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