I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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