if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
