Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
two words...techno handjob
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
