Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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