I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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