You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize