Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize