im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
