Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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