All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She said her name was "party"
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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