Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
