Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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