I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Randomize
