Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
