I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
