Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
