i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I AM VODKA MAN
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
